It's been WELL over a year since my last post. Pathetic! I started this blog to keep a timeline of my life after college, but it's also great (and free) therapy. This time last year, I was single, in home improvement mode and trying to figure out just what my "calling" was. Well a year later... not much has changed! But I'm OK with that. There's still no boy, my apartment is still a little bare and I'm still trying to figure out just what I'm suppose to be doing!
When coming to this realization, my first thought was surprisingly NOT "Geez, what a waste of a year!" But rather, "Wow, my priorities were in the wrong place and in the wrong order." Don't get me wrong, I will take a boyfriend, an apartment makeover and a dream job any day, but the way in which to get those things rests in thing, and in one thing only: God.
Before you roll your eyes, this is not a Christian blog, nor am I going to step up on a soap box. It is truly the revelation of how I have grown over the past 12 months. Around this time last year, a co-worker asked me to go to church with her. In normal circumstances, I would have politely thanked her for the invitation, but would have come up with an excuse as to why I couldn't go. Don't get me wrong, I was one of those who "grew up going to church" but had easily gotten used to sleeping in on Sunday. But at this time I was sleep deprived, most likely hungry, and undoubtedly unhappy. I needed that to change... fast. So instead of ducking out, I said "Sure! What time?" I think I even surprised her!
Since then, my perspective on where I am in this stage of my life has changed dramatically. I was so concerned with pleasing myself, making myself look good, putting myself first. See a pattern? Sure, you should put yourself first a lot of the time, but just because you push ahead in line, doesn't mean you'll be the first to reap the benefits.
I'm still working on it. It's a daily effort that requires a lot of pacing. Now that I am not working the graveyard shift, many will tell you that I am finally back to the "Samantha" they knew. Happy. Bubbly. Loud. Blonde. I would say that working during normal daylight hours has played a large role in that, but finding God has played a HUGE role.
This time last year I would be tossing and turning in bed, knowing that I would be heading into work just as the 10 o'clock news was wrapping up. Instead of worrying about what story to lead with and whether or not my traffic reporter would call in on time, I'm watching Dancing with the Stars and sipping on Sangria. And I thougth nothing had changed in the last year? Ha!
Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
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